Why did the zombie cross the road?
To get away from the mackem gobshite.
What do you call an alien who is fat bastard?
Extra Cholesterol.
Why did the smoggie boy lead a bunch of aliens to his pervy looking uncle?
Because he thought they said take me to your feeler!!!
Why did the mackem cross the road that was over run by zombies?
To get to Primark that had a sale on.
Why did the mackem cross the road?
To take care of some monkey business!
What do you call a gay Muslim extremist?
A suicide bummer.
What do you call a bunch of monkeys walking around Newcastle
Away fans on derby day
What do you call an alien who likes to wear women’s clothes?
Extra transsexual.
A Geordie extremist has appeared in Newcastle
Little mackem kid asks his mother “did I descend from monkey’s mam?”
To which the mother replied “I don’t know son I can’t remember who ya dad was!”
Saturday afternoon it’s a busy bar in Newcastle city centre in walks a zombie and starts going berserk and tries to bite everyone calms himself down and sits at the bar and the manager says “alreet kidda what can I get for you?” the zombie orders a pint and a side order of brains. Five minutes later a alien strolls in making a right nuisance of himself zapping people with his ray gun and threatens to probe all the young lasses in the bar then parks his arse next to the zombie and the manger says “afternoon sir what will it be?” alien orders a cocktail and sips away. Not long after that a crazed extremist suited with explosives kicks the door in and shouts for all the people in bar to get down on the ground or he will blow the place up. The manger of the bar says “c’mon lad sit down next to these two and have a drink on me you look like you’ve had a bad day” the mad Muslim does just that sits at the bar and orders a mineral water.
All is well until a mackem walks in the bar and politely asks for a pint of cider to which the barman quickly replies FUCK OFF YER BARRED!!!!
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