Friday 26 August 2011

Part 6 - Pros & cons of an apocalypse


Things are never gong to be the same that’s a fact and you will have to come to terms with things we take for granted now wont be present in a ravaged shell of a former world.  I wont state the obvious we will all be aware that food supplies will run low but how do you get through your normal day to day routine without the following:-

·        No football

·        No Facebook

·        No more takeaways

·        No taxi service to take you home when pissed

·        No more new Newcastle united shirts every season

·        No hoppings

·        No planes means no more fortnight holidays to Benidorm

·        No drugs – you could try growing a bit weed

·        No metros to coast on sunny days to Cullercoates

·        No hairdressers/barbers 

·        No hot showers - cheesy cocks and fishy fannies!!!

·        No nightclubs or bars open anymore

·        Lack of women means excessive masturbation for thrills




Some of the plus sides on the other hand if modern civilization is wiped out would be…

·        No mackems

·        Any house or car you could possibly want

·        No more chick flick or Harry Potter films

·        No football means never seeing your team lose again

·        No monthly bills

·        Not having to get up for work in the mornings

·        You get to kill people and not go to prison

·        No more having to ring Indian call centres

·        Can’t get accused of shagging about off your lass and there isn’t anyone else to shag!

·        Don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays

·        Malnutrition will give you that slimmer body you have worked your arse off at the gym for all these years

·        If attacked by aliens that question of “Is there life on other planets?” has just been answered for you  

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