It’s sad but face up to the fact that you’re likely to have lost most of the people you love if your family if the members are a pain in the arse then that might not sound like a bad thing but for most that will sound terrifying.
If your partner has been bitten by a zombie the humane thing would be to put them out of their misery before they turn if you’re a complete soft shite and can’t let go then some rules to stay safe.
Suggestions to prevent being bitten:-
Dog mussels found in all good pet shops
Pull teeth out (have you ever seen your Grandma try and eat steak without her false nashers in?)
Missionary position is a definite no, no stick to doggy style to prevent stray bites
You might love your blow jobs but never trust the zombie bitch she will chomp it off faster then a game of hungry hippos.
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| Don't fancy yours much! |
It’s not all bad though Christmas will be easier now not having to buy for all those cousins you can’t stand or for the sister in laws kids with the ginger hair. The hardest thing im sure you will agree is that all your mates have proberly been wiped out so who the hell are you going to go out on the lash with now there is no fun drinking on your own.
Company maybe scarce but zombies don’t make good pets they maybe cheap to feed but nobody wants to shovel up human turds but at least they don’t drag their arse acrcoss the floor like dogs have they have dropped their load.
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| Remember a zombie is not just for christmas |
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