Part 8 - Passing the time

Being bitter and twisted about the harsh hand you have been dealt is just going to make you a total nut job so you will need to chillout and try and make the best out of a shite situation.  How you may ask well its simple unwind and have fun there is so much stuff you could getting up to it could fill another crap blog like this one. 

Your living in a world without boundaries here the rule book has truly been ripped up (and used to wipe your arse on when ran out of bog roll).

Organize a 5-a-side football match competition is going to be scare so round up the same amount of walking dead and kit them out in Sunderland’s latest strip these are easy to find at the bottom of the bargain bucket in sports direct up the Silverlink.  This might sound a bit cruel to the zombies but they are deed so wont know any different.       You are the home side so it’s a no brainer to be togged out in the black and white colours of your beloved NUFC.

Now you all look the part, walk out of St. James Park to the sounds of ‘local hero’ on your stolen iPod and speakers from Argos and your ready for kick off.

Now these dozy bastards are not going to be into the game as you are so advise you strap a couple of bits of fresh meat to the football to get them a bit excited.  This will be a total lopsided competition if you don’t tie up the zombie goalkeeper as the docile fucker will often walk off his line and leave an open goal a baby walker will fix this inconvenience.  Have a heart at the end of the game to put the makeshift black cats out of their misery as well (if only this was a possibility for the current team)

Go retro by ram raiding shops, Newcastle’s innovative creation back in the early 90’s until CCTV caught on.  Roll back the years in a Ford Cortina reversing into a shop while you help yourself to all the goods in store while pumping out Utah Saints on the stereo.

 Pornography:

God knows how look it will be before you get your dick wet again so recommend a good hardcore porn stash also make sure to have your DVD remote ready so you can fast forward the story parts.

Playstation or Xbox:

Gaming to pass the time away certainly a bad choice would be to get a Nintendo Wii as its no fun playing on your own you could try training a zombie how to play and use a control pad will be a lot easier then showing your Granny.